...and all the rest of our nerdy (raising my hand) friends. I can't take credit for this list since Christine actually compiled it, but I decided it warrants a post. I keep it on the wall in my office for when I need a laugh. Keep in mind that every single one of these quotes were actually said in class.
Collection of Quotes from Our Freshman Calculus Professor
"I guess that you've noticed by now that 'sine' and 'cosine' are the same word, it's just that one has 'co' in front of it."
"I've got to get rid of that case of Jack Daniel's in my office."
"We have two things left to do with inverse trig functions, and they're both _really_ strange."
"All of the stuff I've done today is really confusing..."
"I'd rather not talk about this right now because it's a pretty confusing subject."
"Elvis appeared to me in a dream last night. He said, 'no more real long homework assignments.'"
"Pretend I'm dragging something heavy across the floor. Say, Arnold Schwarzenegger's leg...."
"The nice thing about the topic we're going to do today is that you don't need to know it."
"Of course now you're screwed if you don't know how to do this integral."
"The integral looks like a big S. Let's call it 'big S.' The rest is just junk. Let's call it 'junk.' So you get '2 x S = junk.'"
"Does this mean ln of x plus x? No, it means ln of x plus x."
"If there's one topic that you're not going to study, this should be it."
"So basically I'd say nonsense equals nonsense. But it's still right."
"Unless you have a good reason for not doing this..."
"Now we use the junk method, and this is the junk."
"Wait a minute... I don't want to do something stupid here."
"Here's where the fun begins!"
"I can't explain it very well, so you certainly wouldn't get a good explanation from another student."